Someone Pinch Me...Please!

 

 

Is this a dream?

 

 Am I dead?

 

This can't be...not this life. Not this beauty. Not this freedom.

 

It has to be a dream. It's either that or I'm dead.

 

 This is what Heaven must feel like.  No, nothing on this Earth could compare at this point in my life. I've seen many beautiful places, had the fortune and luck(no shit...) to travel quite extensively. Nothing has lifted my spirits like this place.  Every sunset on the water literally makes my heart skip a beat. I feel it jumping for joy inside my chest.  No, there isn't much better than this life I've landed into. I jumped off a cliff almost two weeks ago in the hopes that I would soar and eventually land on my feet. And here I am...grounded yet still soaring in the upper atmosphere. Every day gets more exciting as my confidence grows. I push myself further each day, exploring new areas, meeting new people. And by doing so, I am finding that life can be so exciting...and rewarding. It doesn't have to end with the thought that you have to punch a clock day in and day out, with no room for reprieve.  You can break that mold. Do what is required, but find time to fill your needs, fill up the things that your "spirit" requires. If not, you end up a statistic, blending in with the backwards thinking society that brainwashes people into believing that you can't have more. You can have whatever you want. Life is essentially your oyster. And here, in San Diego...it's mine.

 



 

 

It all starts here.

 

 

So much has changed. Just a week ago I arrived in Oceanside, California (north of San Diego, also known as North County by the "locals"). I entered an unfamiliar world that strangely, seemed suddenly very familiar.  For the last year I contemplated this change. The idea of moving across country, from the only real home I'd ever known scared me so much in the beginning. I struggled with the idea of uprooting my life(or what I thought was my "life") in an effort to find my true path.  The journey getting here was less about the mileage or traveling in my little VW bug with my back seat and trunk stuffed full with what remained of my former life, than it was about the road I'd left behind. 

 

It's funny how you realize how little "things" mean to you when you make the decision to start over.  Things end up being just "things" and nothing more. They turn into space takers...and suddenly those "things" seem very materialistic.   Instead I found a way to remove those things from my life and replace them with experiences, laughter and fond memories.  After a lot of soul searching, personal growth and exposure to people with like minds who were willing to offer me encouragement and insight as to how I could make my own path, the universe simply opened up a door for me. It took a mental change for that to occur. I had to accept certain changes, face fears, and go blindly forward in the dark with the faith that a light would be waiting for me at the end.

 

It was worth it. 

 

Fear is the four letter word that stifles dreams, ravages the spirit of freedom and independence and takes residence in the dark corners of our minds. It is the intangible, yet crippling monster that feeds on the soul.  No longer does it  take residence in my mind or in my life.

 

I'll refer back now to something a good friend once said to me. He said, that fear was the four letter word that separated me from my new life. That understanding alone shifted my consciousness and made me realize that it was me, who was in control all along.  Now, here I am...2200 miles away from my old life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

Life is all about taking chances when you are afraid. It's about jumping when you can't see what's ahead of you and knowing that you are either going to fall on your ass and try again or you are going to land on your feet, stronger than ever. It's trusting in yourself enough to know that you are capable of so much more. Once you make that decision you face the fear and by facing it...you conquer it. 

 

Life is good... and fear is just a ghost.